awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
