You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
