Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize