Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
