Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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