just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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