This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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