Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
