id be glad to
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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