sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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