This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Randomize
