I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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