today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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