I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
