Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
