break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
