I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
