i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
