so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
