Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
