my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Randomize
