Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
