my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
