you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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