He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
operation harelip BJ is a go
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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