I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
