You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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