My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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