he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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