I am puke
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
