4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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