It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
