The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
