Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
