sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
