I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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