The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
NoShamevember. You game?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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