I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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