It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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