She's JV to your varsity
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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