I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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