weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Sext me about skeletons
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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