She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
