carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
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