apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize