Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
