She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
They have beer where we have blood.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
