I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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