The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
