loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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