Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
