This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
