scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
