And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
