ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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