how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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