i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
