Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
