I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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