I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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