dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
