last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
