My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
