maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
