So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
