the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
