Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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