Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
