Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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