Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
