ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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