I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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