I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.