His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Randomize
