; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
we made out on top of his cat.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
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While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
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How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.