Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run