Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...